Life of Smiley

With an array of pitches as sublime and mesmerizing as haiku, $100 million import Daisuke Matsuzaka could tip the American League balance of power to the Red Sox -- and explode the old myths about pampering pitchers Over his eight seasons with Seibu, Matsuzaka compiled a 108-60 record with a 2.95 ERA while averaging a complete game every 2.8 starts . (The major league average in 2006 was a complete game every 33.8 starts.) His 13 complete games last year were more than the staffs of all but one major league team had. This guy's a bona fide superhero. Either that or Major League pitchers are even bigger pussies than I thought. If Dice-K comes anywhere near that level of productivity in the States (and if the Sox let him) he'll be worth every penny of that $103 million.

Red Sox will send Papelbon back to bullpen Papelbon is coming off a sensational rookie season in which he had 35 saves and an 0.92 ERA. The 26-year-old right-hander was slated to be part of a strong starting rotation, but the Red Sox need a reliable closer because the 41-year-old Timlin has a strained side muscle and isn't going to be ready to start the season. Couldn't that last sentence be rewritten as, "the Red Sox need a reliable closer because the 41-year-old Timlin is their closer?"

Manny Ramirez: JENN-AIR Grill Hi, I`m Manny Ramirez. I bought this AMAZING grill for about $4,000 and I used it once... But I never have the time to use it because I am always on the road. I would love to sell it and you will get an autographed ball signed by me =] Enjoy it, Manny Ramirez.

Pete Bo Sizelove, 30, of Sacramento was arrested Saturday at Roseville Lincoln Mercury after he tried to break into the car he wanted to buy with a crowbar and then climbed aboard its roof with a Samurai sword and a sledge hammer.

Apparently you can get a free flight voucher by peeing in an air-sickness bag.

This story makes Baltimore sound like a really fun place.

Tatyana McFadden has always battled the odds. Born in St. Petersburg, Russia, with spina bifida, which left her paralyzed from the waist down, she was abandoned by her birth mother. Tatyana arrived at her first high school road meet last spring as a curiosity: the racer in the wheelchair. But by the time she reached the finish line in the 400 meters -- first -- fans saw her as a legitimate athlete and responded with cheers. McFadden and her mother, Deborah, have been fighting for nearly a year to compete against students without disabilities. The objection: officials say her racing chair creates a safety hazard and gives her an unfair advantage. (The best wheelchair racers tend to be faster than able-bodied runners in longer races; McFadden usually finishes at or near the top in everything except sprints.) Tatyana's story , while tragic, in no way entitles her to bring a wheelchair to a footrace. You might think I enjoy picking on handicapped athletes , but it seems like everyone ...