Wiidiculous (sorry)

In December Mickey DeLorenzo, a computer programmer in Philadelphia, hypothesized that he could lose weight by playing the Wii for 30 minutes a day. He lost nine pounds in six weeks and is on his way to becoming the next Jared of Subway fame. In January DeLorenzo signed a book deal, tentatively titled The Wii Workout and teamed up with Traineo.com, a social networking site for dieters and fitness buffs, to feature his new regime. "It's becoming something like a Richard Simmons show," says DeLorenzo, who's received dozens of fan emails. "People will write, 'You've inspired me to buy a Wii and start working out.'"

I can't decide what makes me feel dumber: that I just wasted my time reading this story, or that I'm not cashing in on this ridiculous trend. Hey! Media! I just took a dump and lost two pounds in fifteen minutes! Write a book about me!


What sport is this?

CYA Security

Why Smart Cops Do Dumb Things

Or, Why We're All F'd

Boston, Jan. 31: As part of a guerilla marketing campaign, a series of amateur-looking blinking signs depicting characters in Aqua Teen Hunger Force, a show on the Cartoon Network, were placed on bridges, near a medical center, underneath an interstate highway and in other crowded public places.

Police mistook these signs for bombs and shut down parts of the city, eventually spending more than $1 million sorting it out. Authorities blasted the stunt as a terrorist hoax, while others ridiculed the Boston authorities for overreacting. Almost no one looked beyond the finger pointing and jeering to discuss exactly why the Boston authorities overreacted so badly. They overreacted because the signs were weird.

If someone left a backpack full of explosives in a crowded movie theater, or detonated a truck bomb in the middle of a tunnel, no one would demand to know why the police hadn't noticed it beforehand. But if a weird device with blinking lights and wires turned out to be a bomb -- what every movie bomb looks like -- there would be inquiries and demands for resignations. It took the police two weeks to notice the Mooninite blinkies, but once they did, they overreacted because their jobs were at stake.

This is Cover Your Ass security, and unfortunately it's very common.

. . .

People and organizations respond to incentives. We can't expect the Boston police, the TSA, the guy who runs security for the Oscars or local public officials to balance their own security needs against the security of the nation. They're all going to respond to the particular incentives imposed from above. What we need is a coherent antiterrorism policy at the national level: one based on real threat assessments instead of fearmongering, re-election strategies or pork-barrel politics.

Sadly, though, there might not be a solution. All the money is in fearmongering, re-election strategies and pork-barrel politics. And, like so many things, security follows the money.