Yikes

Dear middle-aged woman behind the Dunkin' Donuts counter,

I am legitimately concerned for your well-being. Do you have someone to take care of you?

This morning I asked you for a medium mocha Coolata with no whip cream. You nodded confidently and went off to work. Moments later you returned with a cup of dark brown sludge and asked if I would like anything else. Now, I don't like to tell other people how to do their jobs, but I wasn't about to buy that, so I told you that it didn't look right to me. In hindsight, I should have tried to explain that a mocha Coolata contains both syrup and coffee. I was hoping you would ask one of your colleagues for direction. Anyway I wouldn't know how to tell you the exact recipe. That's not my job.

You mumbled something about me not wanting syrup, and then hurried off again. I figured you might be able to make a regular Coolata, so I let it go. Disturbingly, your next attempt was clear. Do you even realize that you just tried to sell me a cup of ice? I said that definitely doesn't look right, and suggested that I would just get an orange juice instead. You wouldn't hear of it and, determined to get my order right, hurried off again.

One of these things
just doesn't belong here...

At this point I thought you must realize that you have no idea how to make a Coolata, and would ask someone for help. And I did see you speak to someone else behind the counter. Then I watched you place a cup under the spout of the coffee machine, push a button, and wait for something to happen. When nothing did, to my utter amazement you continued on to the syrup dispenser as if everything were right as rain. You then made your way back to me with a cup of sludge even blacker than the first. I mean this was black hole black. Would you drink that?

So in closing, thank you for the donuts and orange juice, and seriously, good luck!