Shut up already!

God I hate election years. Here's a list of the top 5 most annoyingly repetitive commercials on TV in MA right now:

5. Deb Goldberg: She fought for our homes

4. Tom Reilly: I'll do the opposite of whatever the Republicans do

3. Deval Patrick: My mom was poor and now I'm rich

2. Kerry Healey: I promise I won't change anything

1. HEAD ON: Apply directly to the forehead

I know that last one has nothing to do with politics, but that's just the exception that proves the rule. These four campaign ads are almost as annoying as what just might be the most annoying commercial of all time. Seriously, is that HEAD ON commercial designed to cause headaches?

On a side note, Tom Reilly's been spamming my inbox too, so I'm twice as unlikely to vote for him. I guess I just want my leaders to leave me the f--- alone.

Raise your hand

...if you just Googled "irregular heartbeat" and "steroids."

Ortiz sidelined with irregular heartbeat

Mostest Valuable Player

These guys deserved a trophy

Manny Ramirez deserves (even) more credit than he receives. I admit part of the problem is his propensity for taking a play off here and there. But hey, that's just Manny being Manny.

A couple weeks ago, after Ortiz hit his umpteenth game-winning homer and everyone started making "Most Valuable Papi" signs, NESN color man Jerry Remy wondered on-air why teams haven't started intentionally walking Ortiz in critical situations, like they often do with Bonds and other home run threats.

The answer is so simple and obvious, it is too often taken for granted; Manny bats next.

[Ramirez] has a higher on-base percentage than David Ortiz (.431 to .397); a higher slugging percentage than Ortiz (.619 to .616); he's in the top six in the American League in OBP, OPS, RBI, HRs, walks and slugging.

Lately, the best Manny can hope for is to be credited as one half of the "greatest hitting combo of this generation," as he and Ortiz were referred to by ESPN commentators over the weekend. Manny has shown an interest in leaving Boston before. If he starts getting the credit he deserves, then maybe we can keep the "greatest hitting combo" in Boston long enough for Theo's long term plan to come together.

By the way, Joe Torre has at times over the weekend opted to pitch to Ortiz and intentionally walk Manny. The Yankees are about to complete a five-game sweep of the Red Sox. Coincidence?

Reason vs. Religion

Wife needs one-day marriage after drunken divorce

KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - Islamic clerics in eastern India have ruled that a woman divorced by her husband in a fit of drunkenness can remarry him only after she takes another husband for one day, police said Monday.

Ershad, a rickshaw puller, uttered the word "talaq," or divorce, three times earlier this month while he was drunk, and when news leaked out in their village in eastern Orissa state, the clerics said they must separate.

"The couple had kept it under wraps and continued to stay together but the clerics ruled that since Ershad uttered the word talaq three times, it constituted a divorce," district police chief Shatrughan Parida said over the telephone.

What, is that like saying Beetlejuice?! (Note I only said it once).

Under the rules, the woman, who is a mother of three, must marry another man and obtain a divorce from him before she can be reunited with Ershad, the clerics in the local mosque said.

The clerics have said the man the woman marries temporarily must be 70 years of age, Parida said.

I don't even know where to begin making fun of these rules. Is a one-day sham union somehow supposed to preserve the sanctity of marriage? And why does the dude have to be 70? Is that at least 70, or exactly?

I can't begin to understand this, so I'll just add it to the list....

Wife needs one-day marriage after drunken divorce
New baby means end of coaching at Feehan

Wait, the Earth isn't flat?

Nine no longer: Panel declares 12 planets

The solar system has 12 planets.

That is the conclusion, to be announced today, of an international panel formed to devise a scientific definition of a planet and settle an increasingly intense dispute over whether Pluto qualifies. The panel suggests retaining Pluto and immediately adding three new planets to the nine that are familiar to any schoolchild: Ceres, currently considered a large asteroid; Charon, now considered a moon of Pluto; and Xena, a recently discovered object that is larger than Pluto....

The result of this reconfiguration is a jarring new view of the Earth's neighborhood. Between Mars and Jupiter is a vast belt of asteroids, presided over by the planet Ceres, named for the Roman goddess of agriculture. At the solar system's fringes is another vast belt of icy objects, the plutons, with Xena being the largest known, slowly orbiting the sun.

There are 53 objects that meet the panel's criteria and probably many more to be discovered, according to Michael Brown, an astronomer at the California Institute of Technology who discovered Xena. (Brown dubbed the body Xena after the television series about a warrior princess, but it is officially known as "2003 UB313," and has not been given a permanent name.) The total number of planets, Brown said, could easily climb above 100....

This challenging new portrait of the solar system should be seen as an opportunity, according to Michael Smith, a science textbook author and seventh-grade science teacher in Delaware. The decision helps illustrate, he said, that science is not a static set of facts, but a constant conversation. He said he was eager for school to start so that he could share the findings with his students and lead a discussion about all the different objects in the solar system, how they might be grouped, and how this might change as new information comes in.

"I am thrilled," he said.

Me too. =-)

It's the economy, stupid

Drugs: Sports' Prisoner's Dilemma

In the end, doping is all about economics. Athletes will continue to dope because the prisoner's dilemma forces them to do so. Sports authorities will either improve their detection capabilities or continue to pretend to do so -- depending on their fans and their revenues. And as technology continues to improve, professional athletes will become more like deliberately designed racing cars.

It's on like Google Kong

First there was calendar.google.com, now there is spreadsheets.google.com, not to mention gmail...

As soon as they come out with presentations.google.com you can stick a fork in MS Office. MS has been talking about going on-line with their applications for a while now but Google is doing it first, and well.

But can he do it blindfolded?

Pastrana Electrifies Crowds With His Theatrics

If I were to attempt a single back-flip on a motorcycle, I would inevitably die in spectacular fashion. So I have no real sense of how difficult this is, but the crowd seems duly impressed.

This is your brain on drugs

My dog ate my urine sample

Well since you put it that way, I'm through defending these guys. They're all a bunch of cheating liars.

I do have to give props to American sprinter Dennis Mitchell for his explanation of high testosterone levels (8A).

Regarding Spanish walker Daniel Plaza (14), all I have to say is, you're a race walker. Why are you taking drugs? What an all-around ridiculous person he must be.