God Bless America

I totally agree with and support what this soldier has to say about our government's foreign policy decisions, but more importantly I am grateful for his right to say it. When it comes to active-duty soldiers, that right is technically more of a privilege, and it should not be taken for granted. Do you think Chinese soldiers are allowed to blog? Hell, even if they were, Chinese citizens wouldn't be allowed to read it. I've made it very clear how I feel about our current administration, but I still love this country, and I look forward to the years ahead with hope and optimism.

[T]his is not a blog to sing the high praises of my chosen profession, but rather a tool of expression for my disdain for the day in and day out mountains of bullshit and mundanity that I climb every day of the week dear reader, and it is a shame I didn't begin this along with my career. There is an endless amount of moments that could have been recorded that would make the average Joe Taxpayer shake his head in shocked disbelief.
But to catch you up:
Today we were issued the last of the equipment that we need before going overseas. This includes superfluous ballistic paneling along the neck and groin that would offer no realistic protection from shrapnel. Armor plates were also issued that are heavier than previous incarnations. Millions in R&D really paid off I'm sure. They're still inferior to civilian alternatives if you were wondering. The plates given to us will crack if dropped right. A Dragon Skin plate will stop an AK-47 round at 20 feet. I figured that issuing everyone Dragon Skin plates would cost more than the life insurance payouts the Army is paying to dead solider's families who would otherwise have lived with better plates. Cold equations.
- Army of Dude

The ultimate word you can't say

For whatever reason, I've always been intrigued by what you can't say. Here's a thoughtful essay on the ultimate word you can't say.

You weak minded fool!

He's using an old Jedi mind trick. Get in the rancor pit. P.S. You're fired.

At least that's what I would have said to any of these checkout clerks who claim to have been hypnotized into emptying the cash register.

What do you suppose he said to hypnotize them?

Look into my eyes. You are getting very sleepy. Okay, here's the deal. Give me all the money in your register, then meet me outside in 15 minutes and I'll give you half. Then, tell your dumbass manager that you were hypnotized. Once he sees me on the security tape he'll totally believe you. Look at me, I'm like a cross between Saddam Hussein and Rasputin. Of course he'll expect me to have mystical powers. Same goes for the policia. Okay, now go all slack-jawed and glassy eyed. Oh good, you're way ahead of me.

Speaking of the policia, according to the article they are still searching for the "Saddam Rasputin look-alike Hypnotist Bandit." Um, guys? Do you maybe want to look in those checkout girls' apartments?

Nice work if you can get it

If a woman is so amazing that men will pay her $1,000 an hour for sex, good for her.

Oh sure, according to Ashley Dupre's MySpace page she left a broken and abusive home at 17, and wound up homeless and addicted to drugs. But even if we suppose that any of that is true, she eventually wound up sunbathing on yachts and charging $1,000 an hour for her time. Talk about your victimless crime.

As for Eliot Spitzer the private citizen, I don't believe he's done anything wrong. Legalize prostitution and tax it, I say, and do the same thing for marijuana while you're at it. Basically I'd like to see vice cops looking for other, more productive lines of work.

And frankly I'd be a hypocrite if I agreed that Spitzer should step down from public office. I didn't think Bill Clinton's indiscretions hurt his ability to run the country, and I don't believe this should affect Spitzer's ability to govern New York.

As for Eliot Spitzer the husband and father, he's a total loser. And Eliot Spitzer the lawyer isn't doing so hot, either. How does a man who earned a perfect score on his LSAT exam and then went on to crusade against prostitution as state attorney general manage to get himself caught paying for call girls? I realize the obvious answer is that he was thinking with the wrong head, but the irony is overwhelming. You can't make this stuff up.

Putting this woman in jail would be a crime